How to Be A Leader People Want to Follow

“The days of Command and Control are over. Today’s leaders must Trust and Inspire their employees to be trusted as leaders.”

I was a shy sixteen year old, afraid of my own shadow, the summer I worked as a Nurse’s Aide at our local hospital. The Director of Nursing was a strong loud woman that I found very intimidating. Whenever I saw her coming I would turn and go the other direction, or look for someplace to hide.

One day she stopped beside me, put her arm around my shoulder and said: “I want you to look at my shoes.”

I immediately thought there must be something wrong with my shoes. They were the wrong kind. They weren’t as white as hers. They weren’t laced up correctly. I was literally “shaking in my shoes,” expecting to be criticized or reprimanded. Instead, her words taught me a valuable lesson in leadership that has served me well in my career.

She said: “when I get up in the morning I put my shoes on the same way you do — one foot at a time. You have no reason to be afraid of me. The only thing that’s different about me and you is that I have a different title. You could be running this hospital one day and I could be working for you.”

In that moment she became a leader I no longer wanted to hide from.

She became a leader I wanted to follow.

“Wow,” I thought. “There’s nothing wrong with my shoes? She doesn’t think I’m young and stupid? She actually believes that someday I could be a leader as strong, powerful and successful as she is?”

Since that day, I have never been intimidated by someone’s title, seen myself as less intelligent because of mine, or wanted to limit what my employees are allowed to do based on their title. I don’t see titles. I see individuals who have potential that may be stifled by someone whose authority comes from their title and whose insecurity prevents them from supporting other people’s success. This is not the way I want to lead and this is not the way I want employees who work for me to feel. I agree with Jack Welch who said: “My main job is developing talent.”

If we are to successfully develop future leaders in today’s knowledge-based continually changing workplace, fear-based leadership that supports the “command and control” approach and limits employee’s potential, must be replaced by trust-based leadership that inspires our employees to aspire for more than what their current title allows them to do,

The command and control style of leadership that worked well for driving productivity and efficiency in last century’s production economy, is detrimental to innovation and engagement, the key ingredients for success in 21st Century organizations where creativity is a requirement for survival.

“Leaders don’t create followers, they create more leaders.” — Tom Peters.

Now, let’s take a trip down your Leadership Memory Lane.

1. Think about the people you’ve worked for throughout your career.
2. Describe one that stands out in your mind as an example of the kind of leader you aspire to be. Let’s call this person Leader A+ for excellent.
3. Next, describe a leader that you would never hope to work for again. Let’s call this person Leader F- for failure.
4. Now, take a moment and think about how you felt when you were around Leader A+ vs. Leader F-

I would wager a bet that there was a big difference in how you saw yourself and your potential when you were around Leader A+ vs. Leader F-.

Leader A+ gave you honest feedback and viewed your mistakes as teachable moments. Their approach left you believing you would do better the next time.

Leader F- criticized you in a way that made you feel diminished and terrified that you would be fired if you made the same mistake again. You became reluctant to offer ideas. Why risk criticism? Why put yourself in the position of feeling stupid again? So, you stayed within the safe confines of what you knew you could do — without thinking about a way to do it better.

Leader A+ believed in you before you believed in yourself. They saw potential that was beyond your comprehension of what was possible for you at that moment. And, they trusted you enough to allow you to stretch beyond the limits of your job description. They took a risk on you; and, you didn’t disappoint. You lived up to their expectations.

Leader A+ didn’t need to be the star, so they created opportunities where you could shine. Their biggest thrill came from seeing you accomplish what they always knew you could. They truly believed their role as leader was to develop future leaders.

Leader F- needed to be the one with the answers. They may have even taken credit for some of your ideas. After all, your job was to make them look good. They believed their role was to keep you in line.

Leader A+ focused on results. They trusted you to do your job in the way that worked the best for you, and didn’t need to control how you went about accomplishing that — as long as you did.

Leader F- wanted you to trust them without questioning, but showed little trust in you. Because of this lack of trust, Leader F- needed to control your every move. They wanted to know where you were and what you were doing during your eight-hour workday.

When I talk to a manager, I feel as if they’re important…

when I talk to a leader, I feel as if I’m important.

Replacing Command and Control with Trust-Based Leadership

Does Leader A+ sound like a fictional character? It’s someone you read about in the “how-to-books” but never meet in real life?

I hope that’s not true for you. I hope that you’ve had — or will have — the opportunity to work for someone who would qualify for the Leader A+ category, because we really do need someone to look up to in today’s world.

We want to be inspired to aspire for more than our current job title defines we are capable of achieving.

We want someone to show us the way to achieve a goal, make a dream come true, develop to our highest potential and become someone others want to follow.

We want to be trusted to do our job and to have the opportunity to prove that we are capable of achieving more than we were hired to do.

I searched for books and articles about the importance of leaders trusting their employees, only to find tons of information about why it’s crucial for employees to trust their leader, but nothing about the importance of leaders trusting their employees.

Why?

Isn’t trust a two-way street? How can you expect, as a leader, to have your employees trust you when you don’t show trust in them?

How Do You Show Trust in Your Employees?

1. You share information. In my 25+ years of consulting, I’ve worked with leaders who refuse to communicate about imminent changes affecting their employees because they believed their employees will be upset and less productive. Really?

We handle the known much better than the unknown.

It’s been my experience that the “grapevine” has already communicated what the manager is afraid to communicate***.*** Employees know what’s going on. It’s a leader’s responsibility to make sure employees are prepared for changes that affect them. When a leader shares information, she builds trust.

2. You don’t micro-manage. You trust your employees to produce clearly defined results by the designated timeline in the way that is most effective for their style of working. People want to follow a leader who will clearly define the desired outcome and trust them to accomplish that outcome without being told what to do, or how to do it, every step of the way.

You hired this individual to do the job, why don’t you trust them to do it?

They may go about it in a different way than you would. That doesn’t make it the “wrong” way. They may actually come up with a better way.

3. You respect them as individuals who have ideas that could possibly be better than yours. Titles don’t reflect intelligence. The higher up you go, the more removed you are from the reality of the day-to-day work. I’ve learned that people who do the work have a better understanding of where there are opportunities for improvement, can identify problems, and recommend solutions.

It’s sad — but true — that often employees aren’t asked what could be done to improve performance and productivity. They are told what will be done**.**

Successful change happens at the level where work is done. You don’t show weakness by asking for your employee’s input. You show that you are a confident leader who feels proud — not threatened — that someone who works for you may have ideas that are better than yours.

4. You allow them to fail. How else can one learn? What better way for a leader to teach? Having an open and honest discussion about the actions that resulted in a less than desirable outcome creates a safe environment for risk taking and can stimulate innovation. If you’re too cautious in today’s highly competitive and continually changing world, you won’t survive.

Punishing failure only stifles creativity and increases the probability that your business won’t be among the ones that survive.

Leaders Develop Leaders

I think as leaders, we often under-estimate our power to influence the lives of those who work for us. What we say and do can greatly affect the future our employees believe is possible for them to create.

If you are in a position of leadership, you have a wonderful opportunity — and a responsibility — to develop the next generation of leaders who will hopefully make the world a better place for the generations that follow.

Do you want to be a leader someone describes as an F- and someone they never hope to work for again?

Or, an A+leader who inspires others to perform to their full potential and believes that trust is a two-way street?

Show trust in your employees and you will greatly increase the probability of landing on the list of the type of leader one aspires to be and wants to follow, a leader who creates leaders.

“Become the kind of leader that people would follow voluntarily, even if you had no title or position.” — Brian Tracy

Copyright © 2019* Rita Burgett-Martell; Organizational Change Consultant, Keynote Speaker, Personal Coach — Strategic Transformations Consulting Inc; — Author of Change Ready! And Defining Moments — Available at Amazon

Rita Burgett-Martell is the author of two books: Change Ready! How to Turn Change Resistance into Change Readiness and Defining Moments: Seizing the Power of Second Chances to Create the Life You Want.